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Θέμα: J o k e s

  1. #131
    Συντονίστρια Το avatar του χρήστη vivtory1
    Εγγραφή
    20-12-2005
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    N.Y
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    Works for me!




    How to treat a Woman



    Wine her. Dine her. Call her. Hold her. Surprise her. Compliment her. Smile at her.
    Listen to her. Laugh with her. Cry with her. Romance her. Encourage her.
    Believe in her. Pray with her. Pray for her. Cuddle with her. Shop with her.
    Give her jewelry. Buy her flowers. Hold her hand. Write love letters to her.
    Go to the ends of the earth and back again for her.







    HOW TO TREAT A MAN:



    Show up naked. Bring chicken wings. Don't block the TV

  2. #132
    Συντονίστρια Το avatar του χρήστη vivtory1
    Εγγραφή
    20-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    N.Y
    Ηλικία
    50
    Μηνύματα
    6.377
    A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies.

    So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, Ill be right back.”

    “Where are you going, Coochy Coo?” asked the wife.

    “I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face,” he answered. “I'm going to have a beer.”

    The wife said, “You want a beer, my love?” She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany , Holland , Japan , India , etc.

    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, Lollipop but at the bar You know they have frozen glasses ”

    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?” She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, “Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres that are really delicious I won’t be long. I’ll be right back. I promise. OK?

    You want hors d’oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?” She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d’oeuvres: Chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches.

    “But my Sweet Honey at the bar you know there’s swearing, dirty words and all that ”

    “You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP CHICKEN SHIT! SIT YOUR ASS DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D’OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED ASS ISN'T GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT SHIT IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?”

    and they lived happily ever after. Now isn't that a sweet story? ---

    MARRIED LIFE MAKES MY EYES TEAR UP


    ---------------------------------------------------------------

    Τελευταία επεξεργασία από το χρήστη vivtory1 : 09-10-08 στις 18:48

  3. #133
    💢 🌙 💜 💢 Το avatar του χρήστη Phaedra
    Εγγραφή
    23-01-2006
    Περιοχή
    ..always somewhere..
    Μηνύματα
    6.676

  4. #134
    💢 🌙 💜 💢 Το avatar του χρήστη Phaedra
    Εγγραφή
    23-01-2006
    Περιοχή
    ..always somewhere..
    Μηνύματα
    6.676

    Dog loves the poolslide !


  5. #135
    Peri ΦΕΡΕΙΑΡΧΗΣ Το avatar του χρήστη ΜΑΡΚΟΣ
    Εγγραφή
    04-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    ΣΤΑ ΧΑΡΑΚΩΜΑΤΑ.....
    Ηλικία
    50
    Μηνύματα
    11.328
    Παράθεση Αρχικό μήνυμα απο Phaedra Εμφάνιση μηνυμάτων
    cool!!!Kαλα σε αυτή την πισίνα κι εγώ το ίδιο θα έκανα!

    ΑΥΤΟ είναι σκυλί!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCBTZ6-ORFE
    ΠΟΤΕ ΜΗΝ κάνεις στους άλλους ότι και οι άλλοι ΔΕΝ θα ήθελες να κάνουν σε σένα.....




    ΟΛΟΙ ΟΙ ΚΑΛΟΙ ΧΩΡΑΤΕ..........

    EΠΙΣΚΕΦΘΕΙΤΕ το νέο online μου κατάστημα
    http://www.apiastos.gr

  6. #136
    Peri ZHTHTH Το avatar του χρήστη Arabellα
    Εγγραφή
    02-10-2008
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    Θεσσαλονίκη
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    0
    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WryacC4fdFU"]YouTube - Tsopana Rave - Joke 1[/ame]
    Μίμης!!ολα τα λεφτά!
    @Love a Geologist and feel the Earthquake!!!!!@

  7. #137
    Peri ΠΛΑΝΩΜΕΝΟΣ Το avatar του χρήστη perifan_4_ever
    Εγγραφή
    29-04-2008
    Περιοχή
    Athens
    Μηνύματα
    233
    ..........Kaloo

  8. #138
    Peri ΧΑΡΗΣ Το avatar του χρήστη kahty
    Εγγραφή
    09-12-2005
    Μηνύματα
    632

    I THINK ALL OUR PARENTS CAME FROM THE SAME SCHOOL.

    A quick reference guide of essential remarks you can't afford not
    to make to your children during their formative and adult years.


    GOING OUT:

    Pa-a-a-a-li exo tha pas?
    Then varethikes to 'exo'?
    Ma esi then horteneis to 'exo'!
    Olo to 'exo' skeftese kai tipot'allo!
    Kala, i lexi "ohi" then iparhi sto lexilogio sou?
    Ehthes then isouna oli mera exo?
    Eseis an then ta yirisete ola ... tha skasete!
    Olo to 'bye' ke to 'goodbye'. Then akoume ke tipot' allo apo
    sena!


    WHEN BEING ASKED FOR PERMISSION TO GO OUT:

    Se parakalo, ase me stin isyhia mou!
    Re vale mialo eki pera ke katse hamou!
    Ohou, pali ta ithia tha 'houme?
    Re, katse sta avga sou!
    Then pas pouthena, m'akous!
    Kala, yia toso megalo koroitho me pernas? Les ke then xero pou
    tha
    pas!


    WORDS OF ADVICE WHEN GOING OUT:

    Ta matia sou dekatessera!
    Prosexe min kanis tipota ke yinoume rezili!
    Prosehe to potiri sou, mi sou rixei kaneis kamia stahti!


    REACTIONS TO GETTING HOME LATE:

    Irthes?
    Mori?ti ora ine afti?
    Vre pou yirizeis toses ores?
    Vre kalos 'tin!! Pos egine ke mas thimithikes?
    Pou yirizete koritsia monaha sas tetia ora?
    Kala, then borouses na erthis ligo pio arga?
    Olo sta 'discos' mou yirizeis?
    Spiti then ehis?
    Xenothoheio to theoris etho mesa?
    Tha sou klithoso tin Borta mia mera aliti, kai tha kimithis sto
    karo!


    CLOTHES:

    Afto to ahristo piyes ke pires?
    Vre, then afises tipota sta magazia yia ka'nan allon?
    Kala, then to 'pernes ligo pio kondotero to foustani?
    An s'afiso na vgeis exo kai na foras afto to pragma, na me
    ftiseis!


    FRIENDS:
    Ahh, aftes i filenades sou se fagane!
    Pou tis vrikes teties 'files'?
    Kala, i files sou then ehoune goneis?
    An se xanafiso na vgis exo mazi tous, na mou tripisis ti miti!
    I fili einai fithia!
    Fere to filo sou etho na sou po pios eisai esi!


    STUDIES:

    Ta fortosate sto kokora!
    Esi pia? ta 'mathes ola!
    Kala, then sas mathenoune tipota s'afta ta 'blurry' (bloody)
    panepistimia?
    Tha katsis na thiabasis kamia fora?


    HOUSEWORK:

    Vre, kane kai kamia thouleia!
    Perimenete na sas ta kanoume ola emeis?
    Prepi na mathis, allios tha se koroithevi i pethera sou!


    LIFE:
    I zoi then ine olo pexe-yelase!
    Eseis i neolea ta thelete ola! Alla then einai etsi i zoi!
    The use of the family car:
    To karo ine 'orait' (alright)? [This must be the first question
    asked of your child upon their return home after using the family
    car]
    To karo mou to kanate 'vithes'!
    Re prosehte!?.Tha mou to xeharvaliasete to karo opos pate!


    TAKING HOLIDAYS:
    Akous ekei, then prolavame n'arhisoume thouleia ke theloume
    'holiday' kiolas!
    Ola ta 'holidays' skeftese ke tipot' allo?
    Vre, emeis irthame me mia valitsa athia, hissame ema kai ithrota
    na
    mazepsoume kana frango? oute exo vyename, oute 'holidays'
    piyename?tipota!
    Emeis then eimaste anthropi? Mono eseis hreiazeste xekourasi.
    Akous ekei!


    SAVING MONEY:
    Re mazepse kana selini eki pera!
    Esi then tha kaneis prokopi pote!
    Ma pos tha sou mini kana frango, afou then mazevese katholou sto
    spiti?
    Eikonomia Re, Eikonomia!


    USING OTHERS AS AN EXAMPLE:

    Ithes ti kala pethia einai tou ____? Eseis yiati na min eisaste
    etsi?
    Emena then me niazei ti kanoune i alli! (in response to the
    child's
    use of 'ta pethia tou ___" as an example)


    FOOD:
    Fai pethi mou, fai!
    Fagate kala?


    BEHAVIOUR:
    Then tha valis mialo pote?
    Then drepese ligaki?
    San then drepese?
    Kita tropous!
    Bravo? etsi milane sto patera / sti mana tous?
    Re? sovarepsou ligaki!
    Re sklirokefalo plasma!
    Re xerokefalo!
    Re oneiroparmeno!
    To mialo sou ke mia lira!
    Ta miala sou ehoune pari aera!
    Mou kanate to kefali mou bouzouki!
    Re, tha me steilete sto 'Parramatta' / 'Botany' opos pate!
    Ti eheis pathei? Mipos pernis 'drungs'?


    GENERAL MARKS:
    To kako sou to kero!
    Perimenai na kanetai kai sis paithia kai tha ditai to pono tis
    mana
    sas
    Ti tha lei o kosmos?
    Gamo t'??..(insert relevant noun or phrase)
    Re, ise sta kala sou?
    Ahh? ego ta leo, ego t' akouo!
    Ma esi pia then troyese me tipota!
    Ego yia kalo sou s'to leo!
    Re, ti aharista eisaste!
    Vre as' ta skata sou!
    Ahh, tha se fao! (accompanied by the obligatory biting of the
    forefinger)

  9. #139
    Συντονίστρια Το avatar του χρήστη vivtory1
    Εγγραφή
    20-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    N.Y
    Ηλικία
    50
    Μηνύματα
    6.377
    Παράθεση Αρχικό μήνυμα απο kahty Εμφάνιση μηνυμάτων
    A quick reference guide of essential remarks you can't afford not
    to make to your children during their formative and adult years.


    GOING OUT:

    Pa-a-a-a-li exo tha pas?
    Then varethikes to 'exo'?
    Ma esi then horteneis to 'exo'!
    Olo to 'exo' skeftese kai tipot'allo!
    Kala, i lexi "ohi" then iparhi sto lexilogio sou?
    Ehthes then isouna oli mera exo?
    Eseis an then ta yirisete ola ... tha skasete!
    Olo to 'bye' ke to 'goodbye'. Then akoume ke tipot' allo apo
    sena!


    WHEN BEING ASKED FOR PERMISSION TO GO OUT:

    Se parakalo, ase me stin isyhia mou!
    Re vale mialo eki pera ke katse hamou!
    Ohou, pali ta ithia tha 'houme?
    Re, katse sta avga sou!
    Then pas pouthena, m'akous!
    Kala, yia toso megalo koroitho me pernas? Les ke then xero pou
    tha
    pas!


    WORDS OF ADVICE WHEN GOING OUT:

    Ta matia sou dekatessera!
    Prosexe min kanis tipota ke yinoume rezili!
    Prosehe to potiri sou, mi sou rixei kaneis kamia stahti!


    REACTIONS TO GETTING HOME LATE:

    Irthes?
    Mori?ti ora ine afti?
    Vre pou yirizeis toses ores?
    Vre kalos 'tin!! Pos egine ke mas thimithikes?
    Pou yirizete koritsia monaha sas tetia ora?
    Kala, then borouses na erthis ligo pio arga?
    Olo sta 'discos' mou yirizeis?
    Spiti then ehis?
    Xenothoheio to theoris etho mesa?
    Tha sou klithoso tin Borta mia mera aliti, kai tha kimithis sto
    karo!


    CLOTHES:

    Afto to ahristo piyes ke pires?
    Vre, then afises tipota sta magazia yia ka'nan allon?
    Kala, then to 'pernes ligo pio kondotero to foustani?
    An s'afiso na vgeis exo kai na foras afto to pragma, na me
    ftiseis!


    FRIENDS:
    Ahh, aftes i filenades sou se fagane!
    Pou tis vrikes teties 'files'?
    Kala, i files sou then ehoune goneis?
    An se xanafiso na vgis exo mazi tous, na mou tripisis ti miti!
    I fili einai fithia!
    Fere to filo sou etho na sou po pios eisai esi!


    STUDIES:

    Ta fortosate sto kokora!
    Esi pia? ta 'mathes ola!
    Kala, then sas mathenoune tipota s'afta ta 'blurry' (bloody)
    panepistimia?
    Tha katsis na thiabasis kamia fora?


    HOUSEWORK:

    Vre, kane kai kamia thouleia!
    Perimenete na sas ta kanoume ola emeis?
    Prepi na mathis, allios tha se koroithevi i pethera sou!


    LIFE:
    I zoi then ine olo pexe-yelase!
    Eseis i neolea ta thelete ola! Alla then einai etsi i zoi!
    The use of the family car:
    To karo ine 'orait' (alright)? [This must be the first question
    asked of your child upon their return home after using the family
    car]
    To karo mou to kanate 'vithes'!
    Re prosehte!?.Tha mou to xeharvaliasete to karo opos pate!


    TAKING HOLIDAYS:
    Akous ekei, then prolavame n'arhisoume thouleia ke theloume
    'holiday' kiolas!
    Ola ta 'holidays' skeftese ke tipot' allo?
    Vre, emeis irthame me mia valitsa athia, hissame ema kai ithrota
    na
    mazepsoume kana frango? oute exo vyename, oute 'holidays'
    piyename?tipota!
    Emeis then eimaste anthropi? Mono eseis hreiazeste xekourasi.
    Akous ekei!


    SAVING MONEY:
    Re mazepse kana selini eki pera!
    Esi then tha kaneis prokopi pote!
    Ma pos tha sou mini kana frango, afou then mazevese katholou sto
    spiti?
    Eikonomia Re, Eikonomia!


    USING OTHERS AS AN EXAMPLE:

    Ithes ti kala pethia einai tou ____? Eseis yiati na min eisaste
    etsi?
    Emena then me niazei ti kanoune i alli! (in response to the
    child's
    use of 'ta pethia tou ___" as an example)


    FOOD:
    Fai pethi mou, fai!
    Fagate kala?


    BEHAVIOUR:
    Then tha valis mialo pote?
    Then drepese ligaki?
    San then drepese?
    Kita tropous!
    Bravo? etsi milane sto patera / sti mana tous?
    Re? sovarepsou ligaki!
    Re sklirokefalo plasma!
    Re xerokefalo!
    Re oneiroparmeno!
    To mialo sou ke mia lira!
    Ta miala sou ehoune pari aera!
    Mou kanate to kefali mou bouzouki!
    Re, tha me steilete sto 'Parramatta' / 'Botany' opos pate!
    Ti eheis pathei? Mipos pernis 'drungs'?


    GENERAL MARKS:
    To kako sou to kero!
    Perimenai na kanetai kai sis paithia kai tha ditai to pono tis
    mana
    sas
    Ti tha lei o kosmos?
    Gamo t'??..(insert relevant noun or phrase)
    Re, ise sta kala sou?
    Ahh? ego ta leo, ego t' akouo!
    Ma esi pia then troyese me tipota!
    Ego yia kalo sou s'to leo!
    Re, ti aharista eisaste!
    Vre as' ta skata sou!
    Ahh, tha se fao! (accompanied by the obligatory biting of the
    forefinger)

    :
    kathy....pragmatika....oloi oi gonois ta idia lene........elpizo na min koliso ki ego, giati mexri tora to exo apofigi...

    let me add a couple tha you missed..

    tha se pari kai tha se sikosi.....
    ton vrikes ton dromo gia na girisis spiti???
    kane paidia na dis kalo....
    ela edo na sou tis vrekso.....(The must have thought we were complete
    idiots...like we were going to get close to
    them after what they said)..
    tha sou vgalo to mali trixa-trixa an vgis ekso simera...

  10. #140
    💢 🌙 💜 💢 Το avatar του χρήστη Phaedra
    Εγγραφή
    23-01-2006
    Περιοχή
    ..always somewhere..
    Μηνύματα
    6.676
    USING OTHERS AS AN EXAMPLE:
    Ithes ti kala pethia einai tou ____? Eseis yiati na min eisaste
    etsi?
    Emena then me niazei ti kanoune i alli! (in response to the
    child's
    use of 'ta pethia tou ___" as an example)


    ΑΥτό είναι το κορυφαίο όμως... Ό, τι τους συμφέρει, όταν τους συμφέρει..

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