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Θέμα: J o k e s

  1. #161
    Peri ΠΛΑΝΩΜΕΝΟΣ Το avatar του χρήστη perifan_4_ever
    Εγγραφή
    29-04-2008
    Περιοχή
    Athens
    Μηνύματα
    233
    Παράθεση Αρχικό μήνυμα απο Phaedra Εμφάνιση μηνυμάτων
    ..That was a joke by itself...
    glad it made you laugh!

  2. #162
    💢 🌙 💜 💢 Το avatar του χρήστη Phaedra
    Εγγραφή
    23-01-2006
    Περιοχή
    ..always somewhere..
    Μηνύματα
    6.676
    Παράθεση Αρχικό μήνυμα απο perifan_4_ever Εμφάνιση μηνυμάτων
    glad it made you laugh!
    I`m also glad you`re glad it made me laugh..!

  3. #163
    Συντονίστρια Το avatar του χρήστη vivtory1
    Εγγραφή
    20-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    N.Y
    Ηλικία
    50
    Μηνύματα
    6.377
    The Best Smart Ass Answers of 2008 !!

    SMART ASS ANSWER #6

    It was mealtime during an airline flight. 'Would you like dinner?' the
    flight attendant asked John, seated in front. 'What are my choices?' John
    asked. 'Yes or no,' she replied.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #5

    A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
    As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
    trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need
    to see your ticket, not your stub.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER #4

    A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
    she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do
    these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're
    dead.'

    SMART ASS ANSWER #3

    The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for
    speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the
    officer said. The kid replied, Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
    When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
    ticket.

    SMART ASS ANSWER #2

    A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that
    read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of
    him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
    Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the
    truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?' The
    truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'


    SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2008 !!

    A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class,
    I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might
    consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death
    in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'

    A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What
    would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter
    sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
    When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,
    shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam
    with your other hand.'

  4. #164
    Peri ΧΑΡΗΣ Το avatar του χρήστη kahty
    Εγγραφή
    09-12-2005
    Μηνύματα
    632

    Talking Peter playing ummmmmmmm golf??? lol

    [ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdOsdb34zxU"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdOsdb34zxU[/ame]

  5. #165
    Peri ΠΛΑΝΩΜΕΝΟΣ Το avatar του χρήστη perifan_4_ever
    Εγγραφή
    29-04-2008
    Περιοχή
    Athens
    Μηνύματα
    233
    I THINK YOU'RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS

    A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an
    attractive woman waving at him. She says
    hello. He's rather taken aback because he
    can't place where he knows her from.
    So he says, 'Do you know me?'
    To which she replies, 'I think you're the
    father of one of my kids.'

    Now his mind travels back to the only time
    he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and
    says, 'Are you the stripper from the
    bachelor party that I made love to on the
    pool table with all my buddies watching
    while your partner whipped my butt with wet
    celery???'




    She looks into his eyes and says calmly,




    'No, I'm your son's teacher.'







  6. #166
    Peri ΦΗΜΟΣ Το avatar του χρήστη piscesau2000
    Εγγραφή
    07-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    sydney-australia
    Μηνύματα
    2.979
    An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand. He says to the Italian guy, 'You're in charge of sweeping.' To the Scotsman he says, 'You're in charge of shoveling.' And to the Chinese guy, 'You're in charge of supplies.' He then says, 'Now, I have to leave for a little while. 'I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand.' So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, 'Why didn't you sweep any of it?'

    The Italian replies, 'I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere.'

    Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says 'And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.'

    The Scotsman replies, 'Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither.'

    The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.

    Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, 'SUPPLIES!!!!


    *~*Sometimes the Lord calms the storm. Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calms His child.*~*

  7. #167
    Συντονίστρια Το avatar του χρήστη vivtory1
    Εγγραφή
    20-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    N.Y
    Ηλικία
    50
    Μηνύματα
    6.377
    How To Avoid The Flu

    Eat right!

    Make sure you get your daily dose of
    fruits and veggies.


    Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.


    Get plenty of exercise because
    exercise helps build your immune system.


    Walk for at least an hour a day,


    go for a swim,


    take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.


    Wash your hands often.
    If you can't wash them,
    keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.


    Get lots of fresh air.
    Open doors & windows whenever possible.


    Try to eliminate as much stress
    from your life as you can.


    Get plenty of rest.
    OR

    Take the doctor's approach.
    Think about it...
    When you go for a shot,
    what do they do first?
    They Clean your arm with alcohol...


    Why?

    Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
    So......


    I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
    I put lime in my Corona ..(fruit)
    Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
    Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
    Tell jokes, laugh....(eliminate stress)
    Then pass out. (rest)
    The way I see it...

    If you keep your alcohol levels up,
    flu germs can't get you!


    My grandmother always said,
    'A shot in the glass



    is better than one in the ass!'



    Live Well - Laugh Often - Love Much
    Τελευταία επεξεργασία από το χρήστη vivtory1 : 23-02-09 στις 18:04

  8. #168
    Περι-πλανητικός Το avatar του χρήστη thodoris7
    Εγγραφή
    06-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    Αθήνα και Λαύριο
    Ηλικία
    42
    Μηνύματα
    5.077
    Do not change your screen settings,

    just click on the link and watch!



    click on link below


    http://users.telenet.be/kixx/
    «Η ψυχή που μπορεί να μιλήσει με τα μάτια, μπορεί και να φιλήσει με το βλέμμα»
    Δεν με πειράζει να πηγαίνω για δουλειά αλλά αυτή η 8ώρη αναμονή για να πάω σπίτι με σκοτώνει .
    Mofeu Ανανεωμένο : http://www.mofeu.eu/forum/forum.php

    Είσαι στο μυαλό κάτι μαγικό :

  9. #169
    Συντονίστρια Το avatar του χρήστη vivtory1
    Εγγραφή
    20-12-2005
    Περιοχή
    N.Y
    Ηλικία
    50
    Μηνύματα
    6.377
    The Silent Treatment
    >
    > A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving
    > each other the silent treatment.
    > Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to
    > wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
    >
    > Not wanting to be the first to break the silence and LOSE), he wrote on a
    > piece
    > of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM" He left it where he knew she would
    > find it.
    > The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
    > had
    > missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't
    > wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said,
    > "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
    >
    > --> Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Wife Vs Husband
    >
    > A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
    > An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted
    > to concede their position.
    > As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked
    > sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
    >
    > "Yep," the wife replied , "in-laws"
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Women's Revenge
    >
    > "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished
    > to purchase.
    > As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television
    > set in her purse.
    > "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
    > "No," she replied, " but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
    > and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Words
    >
    > A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women
    > use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
    > The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
    > everything to men...
    > The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Creation
    >
    > A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be
    > so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
    > " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
    > God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
    > God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
    >
    >
    >
    >
    > Who Does What
    >
    > A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the
    > coffee each morning.
    > The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we
    > don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
    >
    > The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you
    > should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
    >
    > Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that
    > the
    > man should do the coffee."
    >
    > Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
    > So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed
    > him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .........."HEBREWS"
    >
    > God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough
    > draft before the masterpiece.

  10. #170
    Peri ΧΑΡΗΣ Το avatar του χρήστη kahty
    Εγγραφή
    09-12-2005
    Μηνύματα
    632

    Greek Love Story !!

    Greek Love Story

    Boy loves girl, girl loves boy. The scenery changes rapidly:


    Engagement. - Bridal showers. - Wedding. - Honeymoon (full of
    passionate love) -


    Maternity ward. -Arrival of first born son!!! Fight (first one)between
    Greek husband and Greek wife: Husband wants his son to be named after
    his father, Louka. Wife wants her son to be named after her late
    father, Niko. They shout at each other for
    a few minutes, but they are young and deeply in love.


    So they compromise. They called him.......























    wait for it..........























    keep going.....














    you ready?















    LOUKANIKO.

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